Lesson 6: Beginnings

• Recall a time in your life when you made a fresh start. How did your life change? You know. The intro for this week in the lesson talks about how hard last week's writing likely was for most people (and they're not wrong. That was super emotional to write) and that hopefully this week is lighter even though beginnings can be scary. And then this is the opening question. Sigh... In Nov 2013, my life completely imploded in a day. It had been building for a long time and for a couple of weeks I knew something was off with my then husband but things were off with him a lot. His personality/mood disorder means a lot of ups and downs. I just did what I always did and kept plugging along. Anyway - that day things imploded. That's a long story. And by the end of the day I lived in a different state with my daughters. And I begin an entirely new life. My life is not recognizable. The only commonalities are myself and my children. And it's AMAZING. The me that existed in Nov 2013 would not have believed my current life is possible. She would not have been able to find a path from there to here - or imagined that it was possible.
  

• Tell the story of a time that you tried something new. I love trying new things! I'm having a hard time settling on something. Probably the most recent thing is when I decided I wanted to try these adult paint by numbers. I didn't realize when I started that it's a huge hobby. There was a lot more to it than I anticipated and I really love it. It's an interesting, almost meditative, activity. Listening to an audiobook and focusing on the painting. It's just so great. I wish I spent more time doing it.
  

• Do you feel like trying new things is harder for you than most people? If so, why do you think that is? No I don't think so. I enjoy it. I do know from the marriage mentioned above that he hated trying new things. It was something we talked about a lot over 17 years. It was something that fascinated me at first and then just frustrated me. His thought process was basically - unless there is a 100% chance I can succeed I don't even want to try. Just... ugh. No. I hate that. But I've also learned while parenting that that's actually sometimes a personality trait but one I push my daughters on. I want them to overcome the instinct to shy away from the new. I don't know why but I have an innate belief that I am capable of doing whatever I set my mind to. The choice for me is - do I want to put my energy into this or something else? I know learning new things requires effort and time and commitment. Do I think I could successfully complete medical school? Absolutely I 100% believe I could. Do I have ANY desire to do that? NO THANK YOU. The amount of energy required to accomplish that makes me want to go take a nap.
  

• Think about how a beautiful relationship started. What was the moment it began like? What an interesting question. Most of the time relationships slowly build over time. I don't feel like there's a "moment" most of the time. Like a ... love at first sight ... moment. I have had friendships that came out of a single meeting. Sometimes you do meet someone who for no explainable reason you just feel connected to - you know that you both came from the same cloth. I love those friendships. But I also have friends who are different from me in a million ways but somehow that friendship works and balances. Except for my daughters - The moment those relationships begin I remember with absolute clarity.
  

• Do you have a favorite hobby or activity? What made you get started? I have too many hobbies probably. Or is there such a thing? I love to read. And then... this is related to the above question about trying new things. I decided I wanted to learn to make quilts when I was 17 - and then I taught myself. My mother showed me how to thread her machine but that was it. I did the rest. I wanted to learn to cross stitch and I asked for what I needed. I think I was probably 12. I learned to play the clarinet in school. Then the saxophone, piano, a little flute - each of those I taught myself. After high school I continued to work on the piano. Up until this last move to NYC I had a keyboard or piano up everywhere I lived. I still have it. It's just stored under my bed. In college I picked up the guitar but I'm well out of practice for that. I taught myself to cook over the years too. In my previous life I made everything from scratch. I would just pick a type of cuisine then read and read and practice until I could make some kick-ass authentic food. I remember once I wanted to learn to crochet so I asked my then MIL (who was a master) to show me and I still love to do that - mostly to make washcloths though - I get bored trying to make blankets. I'm sure I'm forgetting things but... you get the idea. I like hobbies and trying new things.
  

• Can you think of a time when something bad (such as a breakup, tragedy, or job loss) ended up being the catalyst for a beautiful new beginning? Write about it. I should have read all the questions before I answered the way I did above.
  

• Have you ever read a book, watched a movie, or had a conversation that sparked something in you that changed your life forever? Tell the story. I don't know about changed my life forever but certainly I have read many, many books that changed my perspective - on life, relationships, parenting. I've read thousands of books about a thousand topics I'm sure. I'd say the most drastic shifts in my perspective came from attachment parenting books. During my infertility years I read quite a few parenting books and the first attachment parenting book 100% flipped my view of parenting a baby/young child. The way I handled my babies was totally different then I would have if I'd never picked up one of those books and I'm so, so glad I did.